For many years of my life I had been dreaming and hoping that one day I would get married. I thought that it could one day solve my problems and one day I really wanted to know what it felt like to be a part of a family. I no longer desire that. Yes that may sound terrible to some people but I'm tired of thinking I have found him and realizing he isn't even close to what I want. Some may say I'm too picky or whatever. Yeah I am. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be. I am content with where I am at right now and the direction I am traveling in. I really have no desire to get married but I know that that is not what the Lord wants at all. I want to become a great physical therapist, help millions, and travel the world. I want to go to the temple and do baptisms for the dead. No where in my plan is the concept of marriage but again that is not what the Lord wants me to entirely do. I'm trying to be open minded about dating but with everything that I know I somehow won't allow myself to. I know that I have been blogging about it a lot but this is like my secret outlet. I honestly don't think too many people view my blog (or even know I have one) and if you are a vivid reader I apologize that I am so repetitive in my writing. This sort of stuff has been on my mind lately (could you ever guess?). I feel so distracted from my schoolwork and from other things because the whole thing is just pressuring.
Changing topics I am now almost reaching my goal in receiving all A's this semester :D I am hoping soon to take up fencing. I want to do several new things this semester while I'm out here. I've been working hard on my positive attitude (I think I'm succeeding in some ways) and I'm also working on trying to be a better roommate as well as a better daughter of God. Most of it is keeping it fresh on my mind. If I allow myself to not think about it naturally I will not remember to do it. I no longer go to school saying stuff like why do I have to be here (my social dance class being the only exception) but I now want to be here and learn. I am so grateful for this whole experience! I enjoy being out here so much! My classes are super fun (well I think so). Yesterday I really enjoyed learning about Carbon 12 and Carbon 14 (call me a nerd, call me weird I really don't care I love this stuff). I anticipate the chance to learn more about global warming. I got excited Monday when I saw some trigonometry stuff I haven't seen since high school.