Ice demon

Did I ever tell you the time I defeated an ice demon?  My squire, Dallin, came along to confuse the dragon with his randomness.  Dallin tried to do a random dance move he never attempted before...the distraction wasn't enough.  Bongo, I've decided to name the dragon Bongo, could not believe he had missed a step and was not distracted at all.  Then it was me, Bongo, and the blistering cold.  I fought my hardest to slay the dragon and threw my sword at Bongo.  Let's not get dramatic my sword didn't hit it however it did scare him off.  The dragon flew away and his tail knocked me to the ground.  My cheek was sore for a while but at least I caused the town to be safe for now at least.
Ha ha lol.  I was coming home from a party early so I could study for tomorrow's test.  Dallin and I were goofing off sliding down ice.  I fell and hit my left cheek (it was a pretty epic fall if I do say so myself...I did a full 180 twist and face planted the sidewalk).  Dallin and some random person (thank you random person) helped me get home.

Post Traumatic Stress

Slowly I'm finally becoming okay with being labeled as having post traumatic stress.  I've been through a lot of extreme situations.  The more that I learn about it the more that I understand myself a bit better and why I do the things that I do.  I want to share an email I received regarding the tragic shooting that occurred recently.  I hope this brings awareness that post traumatic stress is real and it can have some intense effects on kids as well as adults.  I also hope that by bringing awareness to this someone somewhere will be greatly benefited one day.

"It is not uncommon for children (and adults) of all ages to experience features of acute or post-traumatic stress, even for those who witness the event remotely through media. The key features include: remembering, emotional numbing (for post-traumatic stress), and arousal. For remembering, many kids will have frightening flashbacks, or sometimes in younger children vague images of horror that they cannot describe. These images may interrupt sleep or intrude into the day. Some kids will react by regressed behavior such as clinging, and it is just fine to keep them close and allow this. After all, they need to feel attached! For other kids, they may shut down and avoid contact. While parents should not force physical contact, they should not leave them alone, but stay close, and try to engage them in playful and caring ways.

Many children and adults will demonstrate signs of “arousal” such as rapid heartbeat; feelings of panic or “impending doom”; rapid breathing, nausea, sweating. This is the “fight or flight” response well known in situations of extreme danger. It may, in fact, come on in response to thinking about such an event. Some kids will not be able to sleep, and want to be with their parents. This is one situation when bringing them into the bedroom, either into bed, or setting up a cot is called for. For others, sleeping together in a common room may work. The important thing is to stay close.

In the next few days to weeks some younger children may “re-enact” the event through play. They may play out games of shootings, people getting hurt, dying or taken to the hospital. Such play in younger children is normal and should be allowed, though it is really hard for many adults to tolerate it! But the important point is that kids work out their emotional conflicts through playing. This is a healthy response and assists their coping.

For younger children, turn off the TV! Remember, they may think the images and videos that are going to be continually covered by the media may mean these things are happening over and over. It may also increase their emotional distress, just as it will certainly increase the reactions of adults."

Granted this email was regarding to the tragic shooting however it is still has good information about PTS, post traumatic stress.  My heart goes out to those families who have suffered from this event and will suffer from this event.  I hope somehow they find comfort through these difficult times. 

Family matters

Regardless of what has happened in my life and regardless of how messed up my family is they are always there for me.  I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to feel wanted by so many different people, how many times my heart has been broken when a friend would leave or I'd have to leave a friend.  I can't tell you  how many times someone has broken my heart but I can tell you that my family wants to be there for me through it all.  Now they are super clingy with their affection but in a way that's comforting to me; people want my attention.  So that's my ultimate Christmas gift this year, the gift of being wanted.

You deserve happiness!

Have you ever felt like you didn't deserve happiness?  Like everyone around you is entitled to happiness except you?  Well that is a vicious, destructive lie!  If our bodies are really temples shouldn't we treat our insides or how we feel about ourselves just as important as our outsides?  I think that everyone at some point or another feels this way.  I know that lately I've felt very much this way; that I just don't deserve happiness because others don't want me to be happy.  I like the analogy of our bodies being temples.  For those of you who don't know what a temple is it is a house of the Lord where sacred ordinances are performed.  These ordinances allow the Lord's work to continue for the living as well as the deceased.  Something that is very interesting about temples is it is treated with the highest respect.  If you look at any temple you will see how clean it is.  The inside of a temple is clean as well.  Why?  Because they know that the work that takes place inside is sacred.  They know the value and worth of a temple.  We are glorious beings who are capable of so much.  We are all worth something.  We are all beautiful.  Sometimes it's difficult to see that past whatever may be going on at the time.  Nevertheless it's true.
Everyday I learn something new.  It may be something small but everyday I learn.