Friday, September 24, 2010


I am actually writing this blog in response to one of my friend's blog. A lot of the things he mentioned in his blog really made me think (he always gets me to think). In his blog he said this:
"The thought at the beginnning of the meeting was about idleness. If Satan is going to get those of us who are strong in the gospel, he will use idleness. The way he will start is by getting us to be lax in our scripture study, and in our prayers. If we do slow down our study and our prayers, so to speak, we will lose a greater portion of the spirit."
It really got me thinking about how lazy I have been. Since I have been out here I haven't exactly been the prime example of what to do while at college...actually I wouldn't even go far as to say I am an example. I have been really lazy and panicky (if that is even a word). I have been putting aside my scripture reading, somewhat schoolwork, praying with real intent, resting, and even eating somewhat. I have been sitting here in idleness for a long time waiting until I started to get a hang of things before I was going to plan for my scripture readings. While I have been reading my scriptures for class and to keep up a promise I made years ago I haven't really tried to read and understand what they are telling me. While I was at a devotional someone spoke about when you put aside reading your scriptures you are putting aside Christ. That just sounds so wrong! I want to get better at setting apart a certain time in the day to read my scriptures and not just to get an A in my religion class, but to really read them to understand them on my own turfs. These were just a few thoughts that I had when I was reading my friend's blog.
I started thinking about how the Lord has been there for me these past two weeks. My friend, the one I quoted from his blog, does not know this but while I have been out here he has been helping me out a great deal. Let me try to explain this! I have gotten to know my friend to the point where whenever the Lord wants to tell me something through my thoughts He uses my friend. Let me give you an example of what I am trying to explain because I know that it doesn't make any sense from what I have written. On my first day or second day (I can't remember) I was having a hard time making friends. Actually I hadn't made any! I was walking around the gardens when this guy walked right past me. It was as if my friend (the one from the blog...keep up with me because I'm not putting out names) was there through my thoughts. I had the thought (exactly as my friend would say it) to go and talk to that guy. I didn't go at first, but then the thought came again, so I went up to that guy and asked him if he was lost...he wasn't. We started walking around campus and talking. We walked around campus at least three times! His name was very similiar to that of my friend (so in my head I laugh at that saying stuff like "oh so that's why you wanted me to talk to him") actually his name only changes by two letter...kindof freaky right? Anyways, we were walking and talking and joking around for about two hours. One of his friends called him and she joined us. We went over to Dominos (because she worked there) and we all chipped in and bought some pizza. We walked back to campus and ate some pizza on the grass. After about two more hours we all went our seperate ways. I had made a friend! The next day I still wasn't making any friends (we have a thing out here where the freshmen meet together in little groups and get to know each other and about the school). I still hadn't clicked with anyone in my group! I finally decided to make a better attempt to make friends. I succeeded! After that the friend I met around the gardens I saw very little of (because we just haven't run into each other much). I came to the point where I made many friends (I'm over at their houses a lot!). We have so much fun (but this is where the distraction I'm talking about comes into play because I love being around them and I enjoy it to the point where my time is gone). That friend who I quoted has been doing stuff like that ever since I've been out here.

The Lord has been looking out for me out here! I have been trying to save money to the point where I was practically living on Ramen noodles. I have lost weight to the point where one of my guy friends noticed (you know its obvious when a guy notices weight loss). I think it scared one of my roommates because one sunday morning (this past sunday) I decided to eat it for breakfast. She made me french toast that morning. Not only that but that same roommate wrote me out a schedule earlier this week because I have been having difficulty getting organized and planning out my daily schoolwork. She has been like a mother to me lately to help me get on my feet again, but she has also been a friend to me being there for me and hanging out with me! A couple of days ago things became so hard that I accidentally knocked over 8 of my perscribed pills (that was a rough estimate) and I just cried. I went into her room and just let everything out! She gave the idea that I should get another priesthood blessing (a couple of days ago I asked my roommate to ask someone to give me a priesthood blessing and I got one...that's the simplified version). I told her that I wasn't sure if I should get another one because I just got one two days beforehand. I thought about it and felt a sense of peace about it, so I went with that decision. That same day I went shopping with my roommate (she helped me out some) then a couple of our FHE leaders (she advised them because she said that they would be better because they were over us) showed up and gave me another blessing that was bore a second witness to the first blessing. Afterwards one of the guys stayed behind and to give me tips and even helped me out with some of my homework. I am so grateful for the priesthood!

I could go on forever telling stories of the marvelous things that the Lord has done for me while I have been out here, but considering time I will spare them for another day. I am very grateful for the things that He has done for me. I am grateful that He didn't give up on me even when I had given up on myself. I am grateful that He provided me with many friends who show me the way and uplift and inspire me. I am striving to do better while I am out here and I know that my Heavenly Father is with me each of the way! I want to deeply thank my friends for all the things they have done for me no matter how great or small they always help and mean something to me! I hope that when the time comes for me to do the same I will be able to help them out in whatever way it may be!

I know that my Heavenly Father loves me! I know that He is watching over me and taking care of me (even when I'm not eating right or sleeping...).

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Can't believe

Being out here at college has been the most amazing experience of my life! I have tons of friends (which really surprised me, but its a good surprise not like...). College is a little too much fun which has led me to bad choices like saying something a little mean or staying up too late (try taking a 7:45-9:45 AM Book of Mormon class when you went to bed at 1:00 AM...can you spell hard?). I also went on my first date (surprised...yeah well it surprised me too, but mostly because I didn't know it was a date...I really didn't know I was on a date). I still can't believe that someone I knew very well died a little over a week ago. I've heard that it has really hurt their family and I don't like that at all because I really know and love that family. I am really glad I am not at home right now to witness this because I don't think I could take all the pain. Its hit me a little, but because I am away from home and the reality hasn't set in it really hasn't. I am still in the denial stage and in my mind its just a joke or it never happened. Their family is moving out of my ward because it hurts them a lot. I just want them to know that I deeply love that family! They are welcome to visit me in my apartment anytime!
Its mind boggling as to why the Savior allows these things to happen, but they happen. I believe that He knows what He is doing. I personally think that it was his time to leave this life because he was ready to go home and his work is done in this life. We all miss him and I bet he misses us as well. I can't really say much of anything to that family except to let them know that I'm there for them if they need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.
So college has been full of things that I just can't believe are happening. Now, I'm okay from all these things (for the most part...I'm still quite stressed out from college...). I don't want anyone who reads this to think that I'm doing just awful and miserable because a lot of the time I'm not (besides being behind in classes, sressed out, tired, and distracted). I am doing fine! I just can't believe all the things that have happened since I came out here!

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Since I've been out here I have done some really stupid things! I became behind in my school work, said a lot of things that should have stayed in my thoughts, and I have not been faithfully reading my scriptures. I always read a verse a day, but it's not enough. Fun things have just been getting in the way of everything I need to accomplish. This is all very new to me! I haven't found that balance just yet. Not only that but things have been happening back home as well. I won't go into details, but its really causing changes back home. Adjusting into the college life has been really hard! So I am not exactly being the best example of what a college student should be because I am so distracted. However its been really good for me in a way. Its been the one of the greatest feelings I can think of to be around people that want to be around me! I was able to make friends out here easier than usual. I still miss many of my old friends who I have either lost contact with, they went on a mission (I don't want to make that sound like its bad or anything because I would be disappointed if they didn't makes me happy that they are gone serving Christ by serving His people), I was repeatedly stupid causing that friendship to end, because I had to leave for college, and because they found someone else to befriend (didn't do anything in those times, they just ditched me to put it lightly).
I have made so many mistakes while I have been out here. However there is still a voice of reasoning calling back to me inviting me to come unto Christ. It reminds me that He is still there, He understands, and He can heal me from whatever it may be. He reminds me that He will still be there for me every step of the way (meaning He will serve me) and that I should do the same for others. Even though my mistakes aren't even close to serious they are still mistakes. I wonder if I will ever get it right or change all the stupid things I do and say. Then that familiar feeling comes reminding me to come unto Christ. Right now I believe that the most important thing I can do right now is to come unto Him.
I am very grateful for all the things the Lord has blessed me with at this time! I am glad for this chance that I have that the Lord has given me.