Lately I have run into the worst luck! My shelf broke, my top drawer is breaking, I made a 45 on my 1st math exam, my classes are really hard, the list is endless really...During all this I found myself falling into that same person I have been working so hard to change. Yes, I began to look for the negatives and looking to complain. I started forgetting to look for the positives and press forward with faith and love. I started putting off my scripture readings and sincerly praying to my Heavenly Father. I started forgetting to thank Him for all that I have as it is. Oh sure I would read one scripture and pray asking for help but I wouldn't invest myself into my scriptures or my prayers because of time. My Heavenly Father still tried to speak to me during this time. Everytime I would just read one random scripture and most of the time it talked about sinning and the need for repentance. Few times would it actually speak something happy. I remember a few nights ago when I was reading one random scripture my random scripture was one where Christ spoke of trying to revive His vineyard once more. It was as if Christ was telling me that He wasn't giving up on me and He was going to take a different approach because obviously just telling me to repent wasn't going to work. He did! I made a 45 on my math exam. He wouldn't help me out on my exam. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that if I was doing my part He would be more than willing to help me as far as my preparation allowed me.
So instead of sitting on my hope chest (like I've started to do) I choose to move on with my life. I am choosing to take these experiences and either make them better or find the positives in them. I am also going to choose to take ten minutes out of everyday, at least, to read my scriptures. To really read them and listen to what I need to hear. Maybe this time I will earn words of comfort instead of words of warning. I choose to continue to change and to progress forward with faith. I don't want to become that same person I was months ago. Even after many months have passed away I still can't get the frustration and sadness out of my mind! So I choose to press on and move forward even if I can't do much right now.